Coffee chat with Christy & Susanne | Do you have your own back?

Coffee chat with Christy & Susanne

October 7, 2021


Christy & Susanne connecting this week over events in their lives this past week. Come join us with no judgment. We are holding space to learn, laugh, and downright pointe at ourselves.

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Coffee chat with Christy & Susanne | Do you have your own back?

High-five yourself

We should start looking at ourselves and say; “Hey, I got you. I got your back. Whatever you need today. I’m right here for you, I’m right here with you”. Mel Robbins in her book-The 5 second rule discusses the need to understand the journey of self-love. She found herself in the morning looking in the mirror totally haggard, criticizing herself, ” Your neck looks like nine, one breast is higher than the other, you look like how old you are, what’s going on?”  And from there, she went into all the things that she had to do, and there was absolutely no joy. “I’m a motivational speaker. What on earth.?” So out of nowhere, she high-fived the mirror, high-fived herself. But something shifted in her. And she kept on doing it. And it became a movement all over the world. Because everybody knew what that meant.


There’s so much that goes into what our body produces, what kind of signals we get when we’re high-fiving somebody else. When was the last time we high-fived ourselves? When was the last time we had our own backs? Shouldn’t we be the first ones to have our own back at any given time? Because we are the ones looking in the mirror and saying;- “starting to get that six backpack but do you need to do more work? There’s some more definition. And look at that neck looks like a chicken neck. Now you are 47 Oh, yeah, I can see really your age.” All of these things coming in. Like why? Why are we doing this to ourselves? It is not even ours. This is not us talking. This is somebody else caregiver, our parents, our teachers, whatever that inner voice is. It’s not ours.


The Mirror is so powerful

The mirror is so powerful because, for many people, it isn’t one where we want to look ourselves in the eyeballs and connect internally with this person and connect with our soul. We don’t do that. We look at everything else and we won’t look at ourselves in the eyes. Louise Hay’s talks about mirror work, where we forgive ourselves or we give ourselves a compliment. We look at ourselves in the eyeballs and speak to ourselves as if it were somebody else. And there’s something chemically that changes in us. So, through the high-fiving, we made a connection with ourselves for the first time. We’ve broken down the walls that we had of making a connection with ourselves by that acknowledgment. When somebody’s high-fives, there’s always endorphins that come along with it. It doesn’t matter what kind; roaring crowd high- five or just a casual one. It does something.


So Using the mirror, if the mirror feels like it was a place to perfect and criticize and say all the things that weren’t good enough, we can flip that and use it as a tool to help shed some of that. Forgive ourselves, or give ourselves some love in a way that we never have. It’s such a beautiful thing and it changes our inner chemical balance. Research has shown that it does because dopamine is released at the moment we give somebody praise. And when we are combining it with physical activity, it’s called neuro gym. It gets in double as much into our neurological pathways, they deepen much easier. Let’s look at how we brush our hair. If we’re right tender with our left hand and we think of certain things, they become easier for us. Because we’re intentional and concentrating and we’re doing something that we haven’t done before.


Mirrors in studios for performing artists

 For performing artists, It’s the most hated thing because there’s a fat mirror, a skinny one, a tall one, the stocky one, and how that mirror is reflecting our image back at us, is how we see ourselves. We’re relying on an outside source to tell us whether or not we are good enough, skinny enough, tall enough, beautiful enough versus what’s going inside. And really looking for that validation from ourselves, the high-five to ourselves, because giving ourselves the high-five, we are giving ourselves that dopamine head. We’re giving ourselves ‘the I see you, see you. I see you girl”. It’s hard today. We have got to do things that we’ve never done before.

It’s such a little thing, as Mel Robbins puts it, the stupidest thing that we can ever do. And it has such a big effect. Imagine we would incorporate that culture into studios, what would that really do? The whole ‘me-me-me sign-off mindset would completely meltdown. The judging, the self-loading, the ‘I am not good enough’ would just melt away if we were able to high-five ourselves every single day. How do we high-five ourselves? How do we have our own back? But the question is do we? or how many times we actually look in the mirror and we are disgusted by what we’re seeing.


Self-loathing energy

The judgment stems from something in that person who is judging; the self-loathing that they don’t like about themselves. And it’s way easier to look at somebody else and point a finger than to look at ourselves. So if everybody took the time to nurture a relationship with themselves, or flip the switch of how we speak to ourselves. When we make a mistake, what are the words that come to our mind, if they’re degrading, and not” oh, oops, okay, We’ll fix that. And Correct it next time”. If it’s much less than that, and it’s something that’s putting us down, those things are embedded. And it creates this self-loathing energy, which then makes us denser energy, that is more likely to be in that state where we would lash out, judge, gossip, all of the things.


And so if there was self-worth with everybody on every level of the industry- of the world, there wouldn’t be the need to judge. We don’t feel the need to compare, compete and judge like we did when we didn’t have any self-worth. Self-worth, self-love, and the journey to us being open to exploring what that is, if that starts with the high- five every morning in the mirror, and that’s all we do right now, where else could that trickle effect blossom in our lives? What else would that change?


We are enough

How we do one thing is how we do everything. And we forget that at times. If we are not comfortable with ourselves, if we can’t love who we’re looking at in the mirror, honestly, without having to meet any expectations and being able to let go of that;” when I have reached this role, or I have danced and performed in this company, then I’m worthy, then I’m enough, then I will feel happy,” That’s not going to come because it’s never going to be enough. Unless we know that we are enough at our core. Let us give ourselves a high- five, stop ignoring who we are and how beautiful we are, and really have our own backs. Because the person we spend the most time with is ourselves. So we have got to have our own backs. And when we have our own backs, we will also find worth adapting some changes, making more money, getting out of relationships that are not serving us, standing up for being underpaid and overworked. When we have our own back, that will happen.


Okay, we’re sending you so much love. Thank you for being here. Thank you for always listening and till next time.

So much ❤ Susanne

Important Links:

  • About Christy Little

    PTR 31 | Personal DevelopmentFormer professional dancer turned entrepreneur who is passionate about living in purpose and assisting people to see the greatness inside of them to live their ideal life.


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There is a better way to pursue ballet at the professional level. Instead of dancers pushing beyond their body’s limits, there is a healthier way to train your body, your mind and your spirit to soar. To become the best at your craft, you must be healthy. The mentality of surviving to make a performance perfect is an old paradigm that needs to change. As athletes, dancers must thrive in order to shine and connect with their audience. This new approach, leads to fulfillment, strength and longevity. It allows you to give more of your heart and soul on stage, creating an unforgettable experience that moves your audience. And that’s the whole pointe.