Christy & Susanne connecting this week over events in their lives this past week. Come join us with no judgment. We are holding space to learn, laugh, and downright pointe at ourselves.
Watch the episode here:
Coffee chat with Christy & Susanne | Everything you do has compound interest.
Don’t Leave It at the Door
In the women entrepreneurial space, particularly in the women investor and startup realm, it feels like you got to fit in and you have to follow all the steps in order to get there. And that’s not right. It might be that other people have done it this way and they found success, then why can’t you do it that way? Maybe because it doesn’t feel right to you. You have to give yourself permission to find your own way even if it may take longer than you want to. You may even blaze a trail for others that feel exactly like you, giving them permission to know to take a different route to have a startup.
It’s having the ability to ask different questions like what other ways are there? And there are so many people so quick to say that there is no other way. And that is in dance, in performing arts, it’s in business, it’s in entrepreneurship, it’s everywhere. There is no other way. No, that’s not true. It’s about finding that new way. Ask yourself what it looks like for you to have a startup. What does it look like to build something so sustainable, so new, something that can rattle everything that we have been doing in the performing arts? Giving yourself permission to take a different route is super powerful.
So it’s got to feel right for you. If you’re the creator of something and you’re meant to put your heart into what you’re creating, it’s got to come from you. Even if there’s a specialist, even if there’s a professional, commend those people for having success in that certain way, but if it doesn’t feel right for you, then it’s not right for you to do it. There will always be perpetual energy in what you’re doing. If you listen to somebody else when it doesn’t feel right for you, there will be a conflict in what you create.
We have heard it so many times in training that if you want to be successful, you have to leave it at the door. This is not true. We are saying this because we want everybody to be present. We want them to be there and have the ability to forget their feelings and be and productive and have a good attitude and be involved. What we’re doing, we’re teaching ourselves not to be authentic and not showing up as us, how we feel. We’re teaching ourselves not to lean into what we’re actually feeling, which then we don’t even know what it feels to feel pain or disappointment or a broken heart or anything like that. And then how are we going to recreate it on stage when Giselle goes mad and we are heartbroken that she has died? How are you going to do that if you don’t know what it feels like if you taught yourself to just push every other emotion but happiness down the pipe? So don’t leave it at the door.
We were not allowed to cry in the studio. If we were crying. We were told to go outside and deal with ourselves. And when you stop feeling sorry for yourself, you can come back into the studio. There’s so much shame that has been put around feeling emotions.
Everything you do has compound interest
If you know anything about how compound interest works in the financial realm, every single bit that we’re adding on also earns interest. And not many investors are actually really looking into compound interest because they think it actually takes too long. You can make $1 million in 100 days if you invest $1,000 with a 7.25% return every single day. That will make a million dollars in 100 days. And it’s the same thing with us not taking care of the little things. In the beginning, the change is very incremental. If we’re thinking like 7.25% of $1,000, it’s nothing, really. But 7.25% of $800,000 is a lot. In the beginning, we won’t even see the changes. We don’t really feel what we’re doing to ourselves. We as human beings are so resilient and so capable of adapting to so many things that compound interest won’t really show its face until you’re like in your mid-20s, in your 30s, in your mid-30s, and then if you have waited, in your 40s, the show will be like a massive once you allow yourself to unconditional yourself. If you talk bad about yourself today and you’re like it’s no big deal, and then you do it again tomorrow and the day after. And if you do that five years in a row, you will not go where you want to go because you don’t believe in yourself at all anymore. And that goes with everything that we’re doing.
People disregard that so greatly. They’ll do something and they’re like, “Oh my god, I’m so clumsy.” “Oh my god, I’m so stupid.” “Oh my god, I’m so forgetful.” There is the magnitude to those words because every time you say something, it goes in. If you say that, your mind, your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between true and false. It’s just taking in information. Everything that you think can say gets in. Then it is reflective and you won’t notice it until you notice it. But it affects how you interact with the front, how you show up for work, what you do with your spare time.
You don’t have to be somebody else in the studio. You do not have to put a show on. You do not have to alter your ego or who you are. Because that is so exhausting because you’re fighting against yourself. That is such a hard fight, I would say. Actually, it is a fight. It’s such a hard fight to fight and it doesn’t get you anywhere. It is absolutely wasted energy. The next time you hear, “Leave it at the door,” say, “No, this is me. I am sad today. I like to be sad and still do my plays. I’d like to be sad and cry it all out while I listen to the music.” Emotion sets energy in motion. It has to flow through us. If it gets stuck somewhere, it’s going to cause pain in every possible way.
You got to let it out
The biggest thing that’s coming up is the acceptance of having emotions. It’s okay to accept when something happens to you that makes you mad or sad or whatever. That’s your experience and it’s okay to feel that way. You’ve got to really feel it. You have to work through it like hit a pillow or scream in an alley or go cry somewhere in the bathroom and let yourself cry and feel it and get it out, then it doesn’t fester. Otherwise, if you’re just pretending like you’re happy all the time, if you deny yourself of having emotions that are innate for us, that’s when it’s all just gonna stay stagnant. And eventually, it will come up. Like you’ll snap out of nowhere or you’ll cry out of nowhere. The acceptance and the allowance of having emotions and feeling things are okay. You don’t have to apologize for it and you don’t have to have somebody tell you like, “Oh, it’s okay.” “No, it’s not. I’m upset right now.” And it’s okay to be upset.
Why are we so uncomfortable in somebody else is crying? Some of us get uncomfortable because we want to fix them and sometimes we just can’t do that. They don’t even need to be fixed. They just need to move through. The moving through is the fixing, and having the grace and creating the space for it means that you also have to be comfortable with your own emotions. We don’t know what to do with our own emotions and this means that we don’t know what to do when other people show us their emotions freely. It’s actually something that we should be grateful for. It’s trust. It’s like the closest we can actually get to each other is by exchanging our emotions, our energy emotion. This is why we think ballet dance or performing arts are only worthy to watch on stage with people in the audience. Is that the only way we can actually create that exchange of emotions? We would be asking different questions if we would actually be authentic and able to tap into all of the range of our emotions. I think it would be coming through the TV like a million times.
It’s the vulnerability aspect. To some, being vulnerable is a sign of weakness. That’s some people’s viewpoint. We live in a society that puts these costumes on over us because it’s too scary for most for somebody to really be seen. Most of society, I believe, doesn’t really want to be seen. And so the easiest way to do that is to not show your emotions to your fullest extent. If you’re having a bad day, like how many businesspeople, how many huge mega business people will ever show you their bad day, will ever show you them crying in the bathroom over a meeting they just had or a failure? Not many. You will see the highlight reels and you’ll see the glory stories, but you won’t see every aspect of them.
So it’s important to ask how it makes you feel. How does it make you feel when your teacher or your director or whoever tells you, you gotta leave it at the door. If you want to have success over here, you got to leave whatever you are, all of it, at the door and just be who we need you to have to be. Really truly ask yourself the question, are you okay with that? Are you really okay with that or are you just going to negotiate with yourself for the rest of your life? As soon as we start negotiating with ourselves, we know something is off. So don’t negotiate with yourself. Don’t negotiate with yourself to be who you are. You should be crying. If somebody gets uncomfortable around you if you’re crying, it has nothing to do with you and you showing your emotions. It’s everything to do with that other person. They’re perhaps are jealous too. How do we deal with that? Like the teachers telling us one thing, the expectation is in order for me to have the job and then not to do it. What does that look like? You decide for yourself not to follow and do you anyways. Put that jacket on. See how big it is. See how much of you actually fit in there and how quickly you are actually going to grow into it, and how much brighter you are going to shine on stage and in the studio and everywhere else you want to shine.
Emotions are not a sign of weakness
Society equals emotions with the inability to do a job or with weakness. This is not the truth. It has never been the truth. We made it our truth for so many decades and we made it the truth to be in the performing arts. You can be sad and still be productive. You can be angry and still work on your artistry or on remembering steps or remembering music or feeling the music and interpreting with your body. You can be disappointed and crying your soul out and still have the highest extension.
There might be aspects that are better for you actually feeling through the movement. I was a robot when I danced. I think if I had not pushed anger, sadness on some days away when I step in the studio, I actually think that that would have been a beautiful way to therapeutically work through it is to put it in my movement, is to use the energy behind whatever I was working on. So use it. Magic might happen in the studio and it also will give you more confidence because you now know that you can rely on yourself no matter what. No matter where you’re at, you can always tap into your very best version of yourself.
We default into bad habits when we deny ourselves the emotions
By us denying ourselves living through the emotion, we default to sitting in a dressing room and talking bad about all the other things that we think we can control but are really out of our control. It’s in hurting ourselves physically and emotionally by looking for relationships that abuse us, by thinking that if we don’t eat this is something that we can control. By drinking, numbing, toxic behaviors, and that can even be overworking. We don’t see that as something that is actually toxic, but boy is it ever toxic to your body because you’re not allowing yourself to heal, reset. There are so many sleep studies out there that show how important it is for us to rest. And as high performers, you should not be allowed or trained as a high performer if you have not trained yet in knowing what it means and the importance of rest. You’re not setting yourself up for success. If you’re not an expert in one area, you got to be an expert on the other side too. Hire somebody who is an expert in that and helps you and tells you what to do.
Okay, we’re sending you so much love. Thank you for being here. Thank you for always listening and till next time.
So much ❤ Susanne
About Christy Little
Former professional dancer turned entrepreneur who is passionate about living in purpose and assisting people to see the greatness inside of them to live their ideal life.