Coffee chat with Christy & Susanne | What does success look like to you & why you should know that.

Coffee chat with Christy & Susanne

August 26, 2021

 

Christy & Susanne connecting this week over events in their lives this past week. Come join us with no judgment. We are holding space to learn, laugh, and downright pointe at ourselves.

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Coffee chat with Christy & Susanne |What does success look like to you & why you should know that.

Success and what it looks like

In the performing arts, we are so clung on a certain way success needs to look like, and if we’re not getting there, we never made it. Is your definition of success something that you’re clinging to because you don’t feel seen or is it something deeper? Christy and Susanne share their former experiences and perspectives of what success looks like and where they’re at now.

Two things come to mind. One is the making it and the other is feeling seen. Ten, 15 years ago, when I reflect on all the things that I had for goals of what I was shooting for and what in my mind was a success for me, it was all based around those two things: making it so I could feel seen. Everything was wrapped around making it. That phrase that, those two words were circulating in my mind constantly. Like to achieve, to make it, to be seen, to validate. For me, success was how many impressive things can I rack up that I can spew out or have on a playbill bio or tell people I just did because that then would make me feel like somebody. Success for me was wanting to feel like somebody’s, point-blank.

So now, I reflect on that with a lot of empathy for that feeling that I felt that way and that that’s my journey. That’s how I ended up on this journey. Now, success to me, when I think of what that means to me, that just means I have the freedom to choose what I do. Choose how I live, choose what I get to do each day, to choose the things that bring me joy, versus having to do things that don’t bring me joy. It really comes down to that.

So freedom obviously means a lot of things emotionally, spiritually, in my lifestyle, in abundance, financially. Like all of those things to me. I feel success for me means choice and joy. And regardless of what that monetarily comes to or achievement-wise comes to, I’m just not in alignment. I look at old goals even from a year, year and a half, two years ago, and I’m just not in alignment with most of them because I still had a part of me that was looking for that so I could say I’m a six-figure business owner, I’m a seven-figure business owner. I have this accolade, I have this accolade because I didn’t still understand fully how to change my internal world to feel enough and be okay if somebody looks at what I’m currently doing and poo-poos it. And it’s the first time in my life that I really am okay with that or someone to say, Well, she’s not really a successful businesswoman, or whatever their definition of success is. That’s really okay to me because their definition of it might not be what sounds appealing to me.

So two very different sides of the perspective, and I still have to be very cautious when I say, Oh, yeah, I want to do this. Why? If I want to write another book, why do you want to write another book? And I have to sit with myself. Is it because you have information and value to bring and you want to publish that to give to others? Or do you want to just say you wrote another book? And it’s a very sticky thing that I have to have a lot of awareness of, which has actually caused a lot of confusion in the last year or so because of that shift. It almost feels like bouncing sometimes because I’ll have something that feels like a great idea or something that feels in alignment, but it’s really not. It’s going back to like, no, you’re just doing that for an accolade or for whatever.

What does success look like for you?

Success for me was always something that I looked for from others, meaning I never had a definition for myself. I only chose my definition or what I really was striving for, for what it meant to others. Meaning in what box can I fit myself in. It came down to not feeling worthy and wanting to be seen and building my success and my definition of success around other people’s? It wasn’t too long ago that I actually realized, Oh my gosh, you don’t know what that really means to you? Was it being completely free, financially free, location free? How do I want to feel to be successful?

I want to start with that. I gave myself permission that success can look different in any kind of stage that I’m in or phase in my life. So right now, success for me, like true success looks like freedom and choice for sure. And it also looks like letting go of who I was, the person that is so fearful to touch anything, the person that is afraid to shine, because she thinks she has no right to because she was told over and over and over again that that’s too big for you. You’d never be able to. Letting her go and sending her off with love, is a success for me, 100%. I know that once she really truly has said her farewell, everything else will fall in place. That’s my definition of success.

If you do not know what success is to you, you’ll chase somebody else’s definition

If you don’t really know what success is to you, not what success is to the industry or to somebody else or the person that you’re living with or your parents or your teachers—no, You. What do you really want? What does success feel like to you? If you don’t know that, you’re just going to be chasing somebody else’s definition. When you do that, it’s not your own life that you’re building. It’s somebody else’s. Therefore, you will not find true peace and fulfillment ever. You’re just going to chase and everything you achieve will not be enough because it’s not coming from your soul. It’s out of alignment.

This is a call to action to really sit down and think about what does success looks like to you? Is it being in New York City and dancing on the big stages or does success look to you like, okay, maybe a smaller company is better for me and suits what I want— not what you get, but what you want—right now to accommodate the lifestyle that you’re choosing? Is it a different city that suits your needs better? Is that a different neighborhood you’re going to move in, a different director that you want to work with? Success is choices, making your own choices versus depending on other people’s boxes that you should be fitting into. It has to feel in alignment with who you are, regardless of what is outside of you.

In younger incoming artists, these conversations never happen. They’re not prepared. They know how to fill out an unemployment form. However, they don’t know how to set a goal or know what success looks like or how to prepare themselves for the day or, or, or, name it. And it’s in there, right. Instead of waiting and blaming the outside world, it is your choice and it’s your right and it’s your energy to put into who you want to become, and giving yourself the permission that that can change at any given moment. And it really starts with what do you want your life to look back and what does success looks like to you and knowing that it can change at any given moment. It does not make you an indecisive person. It doesn’t make you somebody that goes from one side to the other. Don’t believe in those stories. These remarks come from people that are judgmental don’t know themselves, what they want, and how they want to show up in life.

Share with us your definition of success!

We would love to know your definition of success. Share it with us, share it with your friends, with your followers, with your fans. And truly, make this a ripple effect and in giving ourselves permission, not judging each other, but opening up this conversation around what do you want to see, how do you want to show up? What is success to you? What does it look like, and what does it feel like? So share it with us, tag us, and we will gladly reshare whatever you believe is your truth right now.

Okay, we’re sending you so much love. Thank you for being here. Thank you for always listening and till next time.

So much ❤ Susanne

Important Links:

  • About Christy Little

    PTR 31 | Personal DevelopmentFormer professional dancer turned entrepreneur who is passionate about living in purpose and assisting people to see the greatness inside of them to live their ideal life.

 

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Past Episodes 

There is a better way to pursue ballet at the professional level. Instead of dancers pushing beyond their body’s limits, there is a healthier way to train your body, your mind and your spirit to soar. To become the best at your craft, you must be healthy. The mentality of surviving to make a performance perfect is an old paradigm that needs to change. As athletes, dancers must thrive in order to shine and connect with their audience. This new approach, leads to fulfillment, strength and longevity. It allows you to give more of your heart and soul on stage, creating an unforgettable experience that moves your audience. And that’s the whole pointe. 

THE POINTE TO RISE MANIFESTO