Comparison – A pitfall & how you can stop it.

SUSANNE TALK

February 16, 2021

Today, I would like to talk to you about comparison, I have read so many times that one should stop comparing oneself in order to open the door of being a better dancer, or all together to live a happier life. And I never really saw explained WHY and HOW.

You will be able to change your mindset quicker and you will be able to take actions quicker to interfere.  Nobody else is like you and that alone is worth a lifelong celebration. Instead of wishing for more of what others have. Understand what you have and that there is nothing out there that you are not able to learn.

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Comparison – A pitfall & how you can stop it.

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the pointer race Podcast. I am so grateful that you have tuned in today.

Today, I would like to talk to you about comparison, I have read so many times that one should stop comparing oneself in order to open the door of being a better dancer, or all together to live a happier life. And I never really saw explained WHY and HOW.

Over the past two years, I have actually learned so much about how I consistently had spent my conscious and unconscious thoughts, comparing my abilities and my abilities & inabilities, particularly my dancing to everyone else, and how it actually made me feel about myself.  It didn’t make me feel good, it actually stopped me from taking any kind of action, or even progressing and learning more.

Now to be honest with you, I still do compare myself just a way how I do it, and how it makes me feel insight have completely changed. In today’s age, I believe we have so many temptations that will trigger us to compare ourselves. Social media is the very best example it is so easy as 1,2,3 to consistently find someone that is, “better” to compare ourselves to which only serves to make you feel about yourself, which only serves to make you feel bad about yourself. I’m not going to tell you today to stop comparing yourself to others. I’m also not going to add one more thing to your DO NOT list, I do know that there’s already a lot on there. So instead, let me dive a little bit deeper into why it is a very human behavior to compare ourselves, what the effects are which tools you can use to catch yourself when you’re going down the comparison rabbit hole and how you can decide for yourself if you still want to put energy into comparing yourself.

So why do we compare ourselves?

First, understand that comparing is as human as any other emotion. And second, it is a habit that can be, with practice, be reframed. We compare because we look for something outside of us acting as prove that we cannot or are not worthy or “should do more.” How you behave totally depends on if you’re keeping an inner scorecard or an outer scorecard.  When you compare yourself to others you actually allow them to drive your emotions and your behavior.

You can be anything, but you can’t be everything.

When you compare yourself to others, you’re often comparing their best features against your average ones. It’s like being a right turner and trying to complete 32 foutees on your left when you’re already exhausted. That is not really a cocktail for success.  Again, comparing oneself is a human behavior that is 100% natural. You’re not the only one, everyone is doing it. Everybody in the world has these emotions popping up. And in order to stop it. It is important to understand further what the effects are when you are spiraling down the comparison hole.

It is important to understand further what the effects are when you are spiraling down the comparison hole. Click To Tweet

Comparison robs us of our precious time. Each day we’re blessed with 86,400 seconds comparison robs us of our precious time. And using one second to compare yourself or your accomplishments to another is one second too many time. It is a non regenerable resource, meaning that you don’t get time back. So you have to be very conscious of how you’re using your time.

Comparing yourself to somebody else’s ability is not going to make you better. Therefore it is not worth spending time on comparison. Putting focus on the wrong person. You can control one life and that is yours. When you consistently compare yourself to somebody else you waste precious energy focusing on other people’s lives or abilities.

Comparison also often results in resentment. Resentment towards others and even towards yourself. There’s no end to the possible numbers of comparisons. The habit can never be overcome by attaining success, there is no end to the possible number of comparison. Meaning there is always something that you will find you’re not the best at. Meaning that once we are taking on that habit to compare ourselves to everything and everybody, no matter how successful you are, you will always find something else, or somebody else to compare yourself to.

Comparison deprives you of joy, bar none. I mean, that says it all right, it does not add value or meaning or fulfillment to your life at all. It only distracts you from what really matters in life. You have nothing to gain when you compare yourself, but much to lose, like your self-esteem, your pride, and attempts you to change your self-perception.  Understand that you are too unique to be compared to fairly, your gifts and your talents and your successes and contributions and values are entirely unique to you. Your purpose in this world. They can never be properly compared to anybody else. To believe this, you must of course, see and believe first how special you are.

Now how can you stop or change this habit this behavior? First of all, truly understand, what you lose compared to what you gain? When you compare your abilities to another person? What is it really giving you and how does it make you feel? Then you can start replacing your habit of comparing yourself with others.

  1. Know and I mean, truly know what you’re great at, and what successes you already can celebrate. By the way, this is why it is so important to daily reflect and find at least one thing that was great, or went great or you did great.
  2. Appreciate more. There may be times when competition is appropriate, but life is not one of them. We have all been thrown together at this exact moment on this exact planet. The sooner we stop competing against others to win, the faster we can start working together to figure it out. First and most important step in overcoming the habit of competition is to routinely appreciate and compliment others, especially when you feel like you’re starting to go down the comparison hole. Switch your thoughts to complement the other person you’re starting to compare yourself with.
  3. Practice gratitude, relentlessly. The more you focus your attention on the things people, feelings, emotions that are great, the less you will actually notice the things that aren’t working in your favor yet.
  4. Focus and desire the bigger things in life. Some of the greatest treasures in our world are hidden from our sight. Like love, humility, empathy, selflessness, generosity. Among these higher pursuits, there is no measurement, desire them above everything else, and remove yourself entirely from someone else’s definition of success.
  5. Find inspiration in others- and that can not only be the things that you would like to achieve, but also the power to decide that some things may not work for you, or traits or abilities that aren’t desirable to you.
  6. Know your triggers, and focus your intentions daily on how to bypass them. I want to give you a personal example here. I like to go down the rabbit hole of comparison to look on social media and say Oh, she has way more and my gosh, many more clients and her podcast is so much better than mine. The way she speaks is much better, why am I actually doing this? That is my rabbit hole that I go down. When I am super tired. When I don’t have enough sleep, when I don’t have enough energy to talk to my ego and let it not take over. Then I go down A rabbit hole that is my trigger. And that’s where I have to then distract myself.
  7. Take a walk. When you feel yourself feeling bad about yourself, because you only saw things you will never achieve in that person you’ve compared yourself with, start distracting yourself.
Know your triggers, and focus your intentions daily on how to bypass them. Click To Tweet

Consciously interrupt your thoughts by getting up walking away from the current situation and your current mindset. If it helps you walk around the block or look at nature and actively change your behavior.  The only person you always should look at to compare yourself to is yourself. Go ahead and celebrate each tiny step you’ve made forward and give yourself grace, about the mistakes you are going to make. What is important is to understand that we have it in us to compare all the time and it’s that feeling when it will rush over you.

When you least expect it that can catch us off guard right? 

What will make the biggest difference in your life? 

Will you let the negative effects of comparison drive your life? 

Or are you going to choose to understand why you are comparing what it does to you and where you will end up if you choose to continue this kind of behavior. The ballet industry is full of comparison. I mean, let’s be honest. You want to make it in a company you have to fit a certain box. We compare and I’m saying actively consciously here we compare ourselves to the parameters of this box because we all just want to fit in this box so badly.  One way of changing this entire belief system is to actually not fall prey to it. When you understand how it will take away your ability to perform on a higher level when you start understanding that comparing yourself to the girl beside you is not a high performing habit and it doesn’t actually align with your goals.

You will be able to change your mindset quicker and you will be able to take actions quicker to interfere.  Nobody else is like you and that alone is worth a lifelong celebration. Instead of wishing for more of what others have. Understand what you have and that there is nothing out there that you are not able to learn.

Much love,

Susanne ❤

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About Susanne Puerschel

Susanne Head shot

Susanne, Founder of Pointe To Rise, an Empowerment society for dancers and other artist, Wellness Entrepreneur, podcast host, former international ballerina and experienced principal chief executive officer had the privilege to grow up behind the iron curtain in Berlin, Germany.
She’s dedicating her time now, after working in cooperate America and running her own businesses, to building community among dancers and artist, providing mindset and high performance coaching and building a media company that will be the springboard to revitalizing the Arts.

👉 Follow Susanne on Instagram | Facebook | YouTube

 

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There is a better way to pursue ballet at the professional level. Instead of dancers pushing beyond their body’s limits, there is a healthier way to train your body, your mind and your spirit to soar. To become the best at your craft, you must be healthy. The mentality of surviving to make a performance perfect is an old paradigm that needs to change. As athletes, dancers must thrive in order to shine and connect with their audience. This new approach, leads to fulfillment, strength and longevity. It allows you to give more of your heart and soul on stage, creating an unforgettable experience that moves your audience. And that’s the whole pointe. 

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