End your need to be perfect, today!

SUSANNE TALK

February 9, 2021

End your need to be perfect, today! episode 32

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Pointe To Rise Podcast. I am so grateful that you’re here.
Today, I would love to talk to you about perfection. How we see perfection in the world of ballet and how predominant it is? And what are the effects of that consistent, thriving for unobtainable. So whatever and wherever you think you can’t have any flaws is all for us, to discover. 
 

Listen to the podcast here:

 

End your need to be perfect, today!

Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Pointe To Rise Podcast. I am so grateful that you’re here. Today, I would love to talk to you about perfection. How we see perfection in the world of ballet and how predominant it is? And what are the effects of that consistent, thriving for unobtainable. So whatever and wherever you think you can’t have any flaws is all for us, to discover. It may have been a moment where your teacher embarrassed you in front of the whole class for making a mistake. Or one of your parents wanted the best for you, and pushed you to being flawless. For me, it was always chasing a my mother’s love. So I thought that I would be seen by her by not making any mistakes. The more I chased that perfect child syndrome, the more mistakes I made. The more I put myself under the microscope, the little mistakes that I made, and beat myself up for them. And I took that right into my training and my career as a dancer, and it was a perfect intent, a perfect fit. And it’s threaded through my life for at least four decades. My mother would only come to performances when I was in a spotlight. When I had any kind of soloist role, because everything below that was not worth her attention. So the more and more I put that together, the more I was able to find the satisfaction and thriving for perfection. And the more and more I did that, the more or the less joy I found in my life.

When you are a perfectionist, nothing is ever perfect, you always think that you can do more, or this can be better. I find and I’m being very transparent here that in the world, in the industry of dance, and ballet. We are taking that need for perfection on so much that we’re either a) unaware of or b) also so scared of. Because that if the show isn’t perfect, the audience will not come anymore. This need for perfection hinders the industry from learning new things. Because when we learn new things, we are going to make mistakes. That’s what learning is all about. We’re not allowing ourselves to learn out of the fear of not being perfect. We’re putting that on to everybody that lives their dream in the industry. We’re creating this unrelatable bubble that so many are struggling to relate to. The need for perfection is actually the roadblock that is keeping us from achieving more. Being more authentic or vulnerable or something that people can actually relate to. With that more people will come to shows and will want to share it to be part of that collective of the community. The lack of perfection is often seen as a character flaw. Not enough of something, something that is missing, and we’re judging the missing. We’re labeling it as why don’t you, why aren’t you capable of. The perfect moments have no joy because there is always something missing there. They’re not perfect enough.

Perfectionism comes in so many different colors. It only speaks the language of black and white, good or bad, worthy or worthless. Click To Tweet

Perfectionism comes in so many different colors. It only speaks the language of black and white, good or bad, worthy or worthless. Shame is it’s continuous food. The feeling of shame, that comes from feeling not good enough. Not skinny enough, not high enough, not wide enough, not smart enough, not open enough, not enough. Perfectionism is seen as an actual mental disease, dis – ease. That after a long time of application actually manifests itself in our body. It comes in many form and fashion. Anxiety, depression, eating disorders, panic attacks, performance anxieties. These are all physical symptoms of the consistent with the need to be perfect. When we’re looking at our industry, I see all these physical symptoms. They are actually popping up more and more. Because we’re finally starting to talk about it. We’re talking about all eating disorders that are prevalent and are normal. We’re talking about the anxiety and the depression. That come with the feeling of not being good enough. Holding that pressure over years and years and years.

I’m asking this question right now, what if we were actually able to remove that need of perfection? In every stage of our career? What would that do? Would that actually then open us to the permission to learn more? To evolve, to innovate the art? I would love to hear your thoughts around this.

For me , that when we’ve removed the stigma of perfection. That ballerinas on stage need to be perfect. They have to be skinnier and skinnier, they all have to have the same length of hair, for that matter. When we remove that we’re opening ourselves up to a wider audience, to people that then can relate to the art form. Again, we’re open ourselves up to the possibility to evolve and to learn more. To become more. From my own experience as a perfectionist. There was never room, I never allowed myself room for actually learning new skills. Or allowing myself to look at other beliefs or perspectives. Because I thought that I had to stay in that lane that was in quotation marks perfect. My only way to be seen and heard and loved and to stay in the spotlight. So I encourage you to look at yourself right now. And to really be vulnerable and think. Okay, do I need to be perfect? And what does that actually mean to me? What does perfect mean to me? And is it me asking that of myself? And if so, why? Or is it my surroundings that I’m in? Asking it of me to be perfect? You believe that you are only worthy of whatever you want, when you are perfect. This is something that I don’t encourage because it’s not going to get you where you want to go. Failure is part of life. Failure is how we learn. Failure is something that we encounter in our lifetime. Instead of getting down on yourself. And being super upset about making the tiniest mistakes embrace them. Change your narrative. Change how you can learn from your mistakes versus beating yourself up them.

Removed the stigma of perfection, that ballerinas on stage need to be perfect. Click To Tweet

I hope this was helpful. perfectionism is such we know it exists. It can be such a quiet component of our life. That if you haven’t quite yet worked on your level of awareness. It can very easily sneak in and walk alongside with you. And make your day-to-day life harder and actually keeping you from where you want to be. I’m assuming you getting that contract. Standing on stage and being seen by so many people is where you want to be. When you are pursuing perfection that will be in your way. Because you will not be able to let go because you always will be afraid of not having or being enough.

Thank you so much, guys.

I’m sending you so much love❤

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About Susanne Puerschel

Susanne Head shot

Susanne, Founder of Pointe To Rise, an Empowerment society for dancers and other artist, Wellness Entrepreneur, podcast host, former international ballerina and experienced principal chief executive officer had the privilege to grow up behind the iron curtain in Berlin, Germany.
She’s dedicating her time now, after working in cooperate America and running her own businesses, to building community among dancers and artist, providing mindset and high performance coaching and building a media company that will be the springboard to revitalizing the Arts.

👉 Follow Susanne on Instagram | Facebook 

 

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Past Episodes 

There is a better way to pursue ballet at the professional level. Instead of dancers pushing beyond their body’s limits, there is a healthier way to train your body, your mind and your spirit to soar. To become the best at your craft, you must be healthy. The mentality of surviving to make a performance perfect is an old paradigm that needs to change. As athletes, dancers must thrive in order to shine and connect with their audience. This new approach, leads to fulfillment, strength and longevity. It allows you to give more of your heart and soul on stage, creating an unforgettable experience that moves your audience. And that’s the whole pointe. 

THE POINTE TO RISE MANIFESTO