Money & Art | Why setting boundaries can help you make more money.

MONEY & ART WITH CHRISTY

May 6, 2021

Christy & Susanne connecting this week over $$ mindset and the effects it has on artists. Come join us with no judgment. We are holding space to learn, laugh, and downright pointe at ourselves.

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Money & Art | Why setting boundaries can help you make more money.

Boundaries

Self-Absorption

There’s a difference between self-development and taking action solely for the purpose of it benefiting only you. There’s a really fine line. When you look at self-absorption that means you’re not looking at anybody but yourself in that activity. It’s coming from a place where it’s all about you. Like there’s something that you need and you’re taking it from an external source. You’re absorbing all of that. So if you’re going to go start a business and the only thing that you’re looking at is can that improve you, how can that improve your life, and you’re not creating something that actually is focusing on who your clients are or who you’re helping, there’s a big disconnect. You’re making it all about you versus if you have a purpose, you see a need to help someone and that’s your purpose.

Naturally, the good Juju and everything that you’re looking for, that abundance, stability, whatever it is, is going to come to you. But the energy feels better. And you’re in more of a flow when you’re focusing on the impact of whatever you’re looking at.

Personal Development

Personal development I think is completely different because you’re working on yourself in order to get the stuff that doesn’t serve you away in order for you to show up as the best version of yourself to then serve.

If it’s “me” all the time, that “me” mentality is our biggest overhead. It is the heaviest price we can ever pay that is in the way of us getting where we want to go when we’re just making it about ourselves. It is not about self-care, it is not about developing yourself. It is not about even setting boundaries for yourself and establishing everything that you need for yourself to blossom. It is when you get into the state of victim mode, the self-centered.

There is a difference between self-centered and being really aware of what you need to show up as the very best version of yourself. While taking real good care of yourself, your energy, and your environment, give other people permission to exactly do the same. You no longer are an outcast or something. You are actually leading by example and that is so important.

 

Setting Boundaries

The arts altogether don’t really have healthy boundaries. They’re very fluid, and that’s why they’re struggling financially, struggling in leadership, it’s why people don’t come and watch them. One of the roots of the struggle is because there are no clear, healthy, and evolving boundaries set in place.

By definition, a boundary is a synonym for setting a border, as you can go this far. I will allow this much and nothing beyond this. It’s like a fence around your freshly planted herb garden so that the bunnies can’t get in. That is a boundary.

Anyone who is willing to be standing an absolute truth to who they are, what they stand for, and what they believe is right for them in their life can create boundaries even in an atmosphere that doesn’t have boundaries. It might not always go in your favor. Regardless of your environment, if something really means that much to you, it’s vital that you stand up for what you feel is right or not right to allow into you.

When you are actually setting boundaries, and even if it’s in an environment that doesn’t accept your personal boundaries, by you having the courage to set a boundary for your own good that will protect you, you’re actually teaching somebody else how to treat you. If you don’t have a boundary, you are giving them permission to treat you with all of these bad things that we’re hearing in the industry. An industry in its entirety will not adopt boundaries until the people that are the core of it, that are in it start setting boundaries. If you have to listen to your teacher telling you not to eat for three days, it is on you to set that boundary and say, “You know what, you are wrong.” That takes a lot of guts, but this is your life. Nobody else is going to live your life. We can point fingers as much as we want to at these teachers that have no idea, there’s always two parts of it. We also have the adults or the students say, “Oh, okay, I won’t eat.” How are we empowering them because it is a two-way street? It’s not only their fault. If you don’t have the courage yourself, if you can’t speak for yourself, that’s okay. Find somebody who has your best interests at heart who’s going to fight for you and give you the ability to gain that kind of confidence to set your boundaries.

The boundary aspect is the most important thing because we’re the only ones that have the say of what happens with our body, what happens in our relationships, what happens to our emotions. They are run by us. We tell people how to treat us. Your life is really yours, and a boundary is the first thing that you need to establish. This is why it is so important to know your values because if you don’t know your values, it is really hard to draw the line.

When you find the courage to set your own personal boundaries, you will attract people in your life that exactly are wired the same way and you won’t have to fight and convince others that you are who you are. You just need to embody it first. Everything starts with ourselves first. We always have a choice, and a boundary is basically making the choice to put yourself first.

How to start setting boundaries

If you don’t have boundaries in your life, it can feel stifling. Fear will come in of you not feeling good enough, and you will ask yourself the question, but what if? Lori Harder says, “Setting boundaries opens yourself up for bigger things to come in.” And perhaps putting that on a piece of paper and putting that on your mirror as an hourly reminder to understand that you’re not cutting yourself off, but you’re actually expanding by setting boundaries.

The first thing is knowing what’s important to you. Jot it down. That’s not a one-day experiment or an hour. That’s the whole week. Just keep writing whatever comes up. What is it that really is important to you? How do you want to live your life? How do you want to feel? Who do you want in your life? What should these people do? All of these things? How much money do you want to make? What company do you want to work for? How long do you want to dance, all of these things? Write them down?

Secondly is how do you want to be treated. Reflect on what kind of environment do you want to be in? Do you do want to be in something that raises you up and encourages you or is always cutting you down, or even just relationships, friendships? Sometimes we don’t find the answer because that can be sometimes hard figuring out how you want to be treated. Am I actually worthy of being treated that way? Look at how you treat other people. How do you respect them? How do you let them in your life? What do you do to them? Is that filling your cup up, does it give you energy, or do you feel tired afterwards?

So much ❤ Susanne

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  • About Christy Little

    PTR 31 | Personal DevelopmentFormer professional dancer turned entrepreneur who is passionate about living in purpose and assisting people to see the greatness inside of them to live their ideal life.

 

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There is a better way to pursue ballet at the professional level. Instead of dancers pushing beyond their body’s limits, there is a healthier way to train your body, your mind and your spirit to soar. To become the best at your craft, you must be healthy. The mentality of surviving to make a performance perfect is an old paradigm that needs to change. As athletes, dancers must thrive in order to shine and connect with their audience. This new approach, leads to fulfillment, strength and longevity. It allows you to give more of your heart and soul on stage, creating an unforgettable experience that moves your audience. And that’s the whole pointe. 

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