Christy & Susanne connecting this week over events in their lives this past week. Come join us with no judgment. We are holding space to learn, laugh, and downright pointe at ourselves.
Watch the episode here:
Coffee chat with Christy & Susanne | Why knowing what you want is important.
Why knowing what you want is important
You can aspire to live your own life, but if you can’t pinpoint what you want in detail, you always be a victim to circumstances, other people’s opinion, judgment, self-disbelief, and unworthiness starts creeping up. That is why knowing what you want is imperative. That’s not all. You have to figure out what it takes to get there. In training for dancing, that hardly gets brought up. You want to be a dancer? Copy this, be like this, talk like this, and look like this, never because you are different.
In the ballet world, we are all, more or less, meant to fit into one box. And if you don’t fit in that one box, you get cast out. Sometimes the aspects of your body don’t fit that mold. There’s so much fear all across the performing arts. It’s this is what you have to be. There might be a little bit more leeway in music and perhaps comedy, but there are certain guidelines they have to follow, too, to be successful or seen as a success.
The danger is that we’re creating mannequins and robots that are not interesting to watch. How we do one thing is how we do everything. And you step off the stage and you’re completely identified as that thing that you do versus who are you as a person. Then the doing is the biggest thing that’s drilled into us, that to have what we want, we’ve got to do, do, do and go, go, and go. That’s how many of us get programmed for decades. That is the presentation of the only way you’re going to have what you want is if you do it that way. Eventually, you can tell when it’s not for you whichever way it comes, whether in anxiety and burnout and you don’t feel like doing it. That’s been a tricky thing to rewire and choose what you want to do and it doesn’t have to look the way somebody else is presenting it. And you can take it at your own pace because it’s not a sprint, either. You don’t have to sprint through your life. You can slow down and make sure that you have a reason you’re doing it. You don’t have to burn yourself out to have or create what you want.
So you have to be very careful about who you collaborate with or who has a space in what you create because it has to be in alignment with you. It can’t be in that hustle mode. And not being in a hustle mode doesn’t mean not being productive. You have to have the right systems in place and uncover all the layers and release control, which, for performing artists, is so hard. Many ex-dancers and ex-performers starting businesses run ragged and exhausted. They can’t get to the next stage because they can’t release control. This comes out of not knowing what they want.
Tools to get to know what you want
Writing your daily actions and thoughts down regularly maps out and provides clarity on why you do things and what you want to achieve.
This can be at least twice a day, but it does not have to be rigid. Daily meditation is how you be in peace during the day and stay in that heart space in the midst of your work and dreams, and not be in your mind. It does not have to be so rigid. It doesn’t mean that you’re sitting cross-legged, upright, with some kind of music in the background and you’re there for an hour. You can be at a stoplight and go into meditation, not with your eyes closed, but you can get yourself in that headspace for a light cycle. So sometimes it’s just that, too. It might only last 30 seconds. It might be when you’re waiting for your coffee to brew and you just stand there and notice your breath or feel your body and pay attention to where you are. Take a moment to figure out if your heart is thumping in your throat or you feel at ease.
Ask yourself questions
Ask yourself about what you need that day. Is it a nap, more exercise, a certain book, a coffee from a specific place? It might not come immediately, but all of a sudden you will remember a book you did not finish. Be open to receiving help and don’t feel like an insignificant human that’s alone with no self-worth.
Be aware of resistance
You will be met with resistance more than you can ever imagine. That resistance is not that loud. It will just show up in you getting up and going to the fridge for the 500th time or go on Instagram or look at your phone.
Check-in with yourself. Ask yourself how you can give yourself some self-love every single day. Is it a long shower? Is it a coffee? Is it a phone call with someone that you love? Whatever it is, just love yourself.
Okay, we’re sending you so much love. Thank you for being here. Thank you for always listening and till next time.
So much ❤ Susanne
About Christy Little
Former professional dancer turned entrepreneur who is passionate about living in purpose and assisting people to see the greatness inside of them to live their ideal life.